yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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