I think I am morally bankrupt
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
