I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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