therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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