well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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