Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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