Me too!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
