The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
