More tranny stories later!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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