lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
porn star boner night. come get it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
