Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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