you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
