can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
