You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
