Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
