So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
