I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I could fuck to npr.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
