and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
