I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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