How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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