Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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