I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
