So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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