My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
