i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
