theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
