i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
