yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
