why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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