P.S. I can't hear my feet
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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