Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
