she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
