i need an iv and a liver transplant
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
