he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
