I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
