Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
