Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
