you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Holy sore nipples Batman
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
