apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
