You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
