I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
