return my video game
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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