she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dicks are not precious.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
