Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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