My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
