I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
