your thong is hanging out like whoa
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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