I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Randomize
