And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
