ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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