you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
