I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
