So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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