Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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