I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The air was thick with penises
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
