I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
